Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
