Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you traded sex for a burrito?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
