just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Pappa wants mamma naked
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize