i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
