1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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