North Korea, Best Korea!
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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