how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
