Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize