I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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