dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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