I'm jealous of your bromance
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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