you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize