Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
