I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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