is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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