You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
