Is it normal to miss your booty call?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
