have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
