During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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