gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
