weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize