Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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