sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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