I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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