Heybabeimwearingurpanties
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
