If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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