i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
