dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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