He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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