When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
