yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
