is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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