2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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