Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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