You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
