I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm gonna fight the coyote
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
