So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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