How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
