He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize