would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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