you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
