I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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