just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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