White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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