Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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