The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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