it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
