the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Can Purell be used as lube?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
