my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
