addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
