So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
