i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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