I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
