they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize