How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
