you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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