he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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