I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
