dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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