she looked like the bat from fern gully.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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